Already on the list, but yaknow

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Thank Carmen

I was tired of losing my imaginary friends so I made new ones.  Meet Steven, Steven, and Steven.

Driving Bangladesh

Aokigahara Forest (Suicide Forest), Japan

Every six months a team of volunteers searches this forest for the bodies of those who committed suicide. 

They section off areas of the forest already searched with rope and colorful streamers. 

 

This particular camp had a noose, several pills, cut credit cards, cloths, books, and a bag.

A much more common scene was a shirt accompanied with nothing more than a few pieces of garbage

Knives are illegal to carry in Japan and the Japanese are very disciplined.  That is to say finding something like this was shocking.  Looking back I should have put my hand to that knife for comparison.

No comment.

Lucy.

This.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

There's a fine line between work and play

Boss

Belly of the Beast

Perspective

You.

4 Senses 4 Days Without

During my trip in Bangladesh, I read in the newspaper an article written about the senses.  It was a 1200 word essay aspiring writers contribute in hopes they get picked up for a job.  I hope that guy gets the job.  A month later and it's still on my mind.

I'm always trying to understand.  When I see someone with or without, it makes me wonder what it's like.  The poverty there is staggering.  I tried to understand, but I realize the only way I really could is if I lived it.  I decided I wanted to spend a couple months living in poverty.  I think now it would only waste my time.  I would know that it isn't forever.  I would know that the hunger would end after my time was up and in the end I wouldn't really learn anything from it. 

I have a new idea.  One much more practical.  Same principle, different degree.  Dedicate a day to each of the senses.

No sight.  No smell.  No taste.  No hearing.

Here's the how.  Sight is simple.  Cover my eyes.  Smell is simple.  Plug my nose with tissue.  For taste I'll drink water and only water.  If you can think of something better, please let me know.  No hearing.  Ear plugs, covered, and ear muffs over the top.  This one will be harder I think.

I would also eliminate feeling for a day, but it just isn't possible.  Even numb is a feeling.  SO.  Four will have to do.

Now to set the dates... 

I walked.  I walked slowly and let the cold air in.  I walked without a place to be or an agenda to fulfill. I walked until my hands turned red and my body went numb. 

I returned to what little heat this building has to offer and in the transition found myself shivering.

I stood in the shower and let the hot water hit me.  Gradually I increased the temperature.  More, little by little.  I let it hit me until my chest turned red and my body went numb.

Sitting here now, the heat is quickly leaving and soon I'll be shivering.


The problem with having your head in the clouds is that you mistake them for something solid and can't imagine falling through.  The air is thinner up there.  Makes you dizzy.  It's easy to forget the hard truth is still waiting below and soon you'll be heading straight for it.

Soon I'll be laying in bed.  I'll fall asleep and dream.  I'll poke my head in the clouds and play for a while.  I'll do my best to forget the hard ground waiting below.


Love,

Emo

Halloween, I dream of you.

My favorite holiday.

What you are looking at is Sumo wrestling in it's rawest form.  Before the rice, before the ring, before the fans.  A circle in the sand and two guys trying to get each other out of that circle wearing nothing but undergarments.  Try not to soak it all up at once. 

A Day in the Life

When I started organizing this project I had my own life in mind.  How arrogant.  Now that I've started filming it, I've decided that isn't what I want.  Instead, I'm going to film two different lives.  Same guy, same place, two different outlooks on life. 

Presentation:

Both will be shot filming the guy from a by-stander point of view.  It isn't about WHAT he's doing.  It's about HOW he reacts to what he's doing.  By the way, the actor isn't very good.  Try not to be distracted.  Now, do I present them side by side or separately? 

LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Photo, Face, Year

I've seen this a couple times and have always wanted to do it, but just never have.  I don't know why I waited.  I'm done waiting.

Starting today I'm going to take a photo of myself for a year.  Same location (until I move), same lighting.  On the one year anniversary I'm going to piece it all together.  If I still enjoy it, I'll continue every year.

This is Steven.  He is what you think he is. 
He likes drinking beer while watching Japanese anime.
He plays online games. 
He's a 27 year old smoker. 
He's a computer programmer. 
He's my friend.

To be or not to be?

Sure, he may have been talking about whether to live or die, but I think there's more truth here than that.  What does it mean "to be or not to be"?  To exist?  Who's to say you exist at all?  YOU?  If there is any answer, that must be the only one.  I have no way of knowing you really exist at all so how can you?  How can you prove it?

Perception is reality.

You can tell me to touch you, but I cannot feel.
You can tell me to see you, but I cannot see.
You can tell me to okay... you get where I'm going with this.

Point is, if we lack our sense, we lack perception.

You're crazy.  You're strapped to a bed.  Your eyes are staring vacantly at the ceiling.  You don't blink.  Behind those eyes though... Behind them you're thinking.  In your head you're reading this post on the internet.  Me sharing this with you is your brain trying to make sense of the situation.  No?  You sure?  What if I'm the one in the bed you ask?  You're right.  I am.  We all are.

Who's to say you exist at all?  You.  Only you.  Question now is, how do you exist?

Why?

Who? What? Where? When? How? ....and WHY?
Of all the questions I like "why?" the most.  Mostly because it's a problem solver.  Sure, the others have a place too, but "why?" is the bad mamba jamba. 

It can go with any problem until eventually there is a solution.  Try it.  Present your problem to the question "WHY?"

This is the scene I view everyday as I walk out of my "home".  Looking at this photo and reading the first sentence, you can begin to piece together a story.  I'm sure it's more questions than anything.  That's okay.  I have them too.  Where was this taken?  What time is it?  Who else lives there?  Do you really need two grills?  I'm not going to tell you.